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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921873">Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbbaTriesToWrite/pseuds/EbbaTriesToWrite'>EbbaTriesToWrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Old Guard - tumblr request fills [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Booker | Sebastien le Livre Needs Therapy, F/F, Forgiveness, Gen, I think?, M/M, Quynh Needs Therapy, Reunions, Revelations, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships, idk how to tag this oops, sorta probably</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:54:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25921873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbbaTriesToWrite/pseuds/EbbaTriesToWrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There was the sound of a door opening and Andy heard several gasps echo in the room. She pulled away from the embrace she had longed for, for so long, and took a step towards the door and felt her heart drop. Right there, on the ground, was Booker. His hair was long and his clothes stained in blood and dirt but what stood out the most was the metal collar around his neck which had him chained to the wall.</p><p>“Please.” his voice was raspy, as if he’d been screaming, or not have spoken at all for too long.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Booker | Sebastien le Livre &amp; Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Old Guard - tumblr request fills [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881205</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>304</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Andy wasn’t sure what she had expected when they went looking for Quynh, but it sure as hell wasn’t this. Nile had told her that Quynh seemed deranged and dangerous and Andy didn’t doubt her, she could only imagine what five hundred years drowning could do to the human mind - because even if they were immortal, they were all still human. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After following the bits and pieces Nile had been able to pick up through her dreams they found where Quynh was apparently laying base currently. A cottage in the outskirts of a small town in France that felt familiar for a reason Andy couldn’t place. She pushed the thought down and led the way, it had been a decade since Nile realised Quynh wasn’t drowning anymore, a decade of searching and always being one step behind and she couldn’t take it any longer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t bothered knocking and they all rushed in with their weapons drawn, just in case. But it seemed it wasn’t necessary, Quynh seemed to have been expecting them, standing casually leaning against a wall and a smirk on her lips. But it wasn’t the Quynh that Andy remembered, the smile wasn’t right and it ached in her entire being just to see her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lovely to see you again Andromache, Yusuf, Nicolo.” she nodded her head at each of them before tilting her head as she looked at Nile, “And you must be the new one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh-” she was cut off by the sound of something banging from the room to their right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Quynh yelled and kicked the wall she was leaning against, “Please Andromache, continue. What did you want to say?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have someone captive?” Nile pushed her way forward and reached for the door but right as she grabbed for the handle Quynh threw a knife at her, it buried itself in her arm and Andy pulled her back behind her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Quynh hissed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh, what happened to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know!” Quynh yelled, “You didn’t find me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I tried. But I’m here now.” her voice shook as she spoke, guilt churning in her gut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please believe us, dear friend,” Joe said calmly, placing a hand on Andy’s shoulder in support, “We tried but we couldn’t find you. But now that you’re here we can work to mend what has been broken.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It looked like she was considering it and Andy felt her heart swell when Quynh gave a small nod. She glanced at the door briefly before shrugging Joe’s hand off her and took slow steps toward Quynh as if she was a wounded animal rather than the fierce warrior she has in her memories. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you, my love.” she felt tears brimming in her eyes and Quynh looked at her with a mixture of love and hate that felt all too deserved, “I am so sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Quynh said softly, hand reaching out to cup Andy’s face, “I know, but sometimes I forget. My mind, it- it’s not as it should be.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’ll help you.” Andy placed her hand atop of Quynh’s leaning into the touch, etching it into her memory, “I promise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t break it this time.” Quynh demanded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh embraced her and Andy felt like she broke into a million pieces while also being glued back together. Being apart for so long will always be her greatest regret but in all her time she’s been alive she’s learnt something; there is only moving forward from the past. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was the sound of a door opening and Andy heard several gasps echo in the room. She pulled away from the embrace she had longed for, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> long, and took a step towards the door and felt her heart drop. Right there, on the ground, was Booker. His hair was long and his clothes stained in blood and dirt but what stood out the most was the metal collar around his neck which had him chained to the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please.” his voice was raspy, as if he’d been screaming, or not have spoken at all for too long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell?” she turned back to Quynh who looked at her in confusion, “What have you done to him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were both lonely.” Quynh said as if it was any explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me the key.” Nicky practically growled, “Now!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not taking him from me!” she screamed and pushed her way past them to get to Booker, “He’s mine!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh.” Booker’s voice cracked on the single syllable, a hand reaching up to grab her leg, “I won’t leave you. I swear.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They want to take you from me.” she shook her head, eyes unfocused before finally landing on Booker, “You’re mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” he nodded, “But we can all be together,” he glanced at the others, eyes scared but searching, “all of us. It’ll be better for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Andy said despite herself, if Quynh had done this to Booker she didn’t want her anywhere near him, but she didn’t want a fight, “We can all be together. We won’t take him from you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Booker mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her and after a beat of silence Quynh pulled a key out and with shaking hands she unlocked the collar and it fell to the ground with an echoing clang. He got to his feet slowly, stumbling a little bit as he did. Andy could see he was skinnier now and it pained her to think that her lover had done this to someone she considered a brother.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andy expected Booker to walk out but instead he wrapped his arms around Quynh, “I am yours. As long as you need me to be.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mine.” Quynh said, staring at them as she wrapped her arms around him as well, staking her claim, “Mine.”   </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Don’t look at me like that,” Booker looks back at Joe and smiles, “I’ve been helping her and she’s getting better. But after all that time alone, her mind isn’t right. It’s not her fault.</p><p>“And what about all this blood?” Joe gestures to Booker’s bloodstained shirt, “That wasn’t her fault either?”  </p><p>“Not really.” Booker shakes his head, an almost fond look in his eyes as he glances inside again.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joe had dreamt of this day for centuries. Of the day when they’d finally be reunited with the one they so unfairly lost and were unable to save. Now though, he realises he’d been deluding himself. When Nile spoke of Quynh that first night she’d been with them, she’d said that she felt insane. He had known that it was very likely that her torture had driven her to madness but he hadn’t let himself believe it, not fully at least. </p><p>He believes it now though. It’s in the way her hand stays wrapped around Booker’s wrist the whole car ride back to the apartment they had rented for the week. It’s in the way she looks ready to kill anyone who so much as looks at Booker for too long. In the way she hadn’t even let Booker go change out of his bloodied shirt - and the fact that she was the one that had bloodied it. And Booker, he just lets her, doing whatever she asks and complies with even unasked requests. </p><p>Joe can’t place if it’s because he’s afraid of her or if it’s because he’s content with it. He hopes it’s the former - no matter how sick he feels at the thought of Booker having spent so long with someone he’s scared of. The other option seems worse somehow. </p><p>“Quynh,” Joe speaks softly, not wanting to anger her when her nails are already digging into the soft skin of Booker’s wrist, “could I borrow Booker for a moment?” </p><p>“No.” she hisses, the gaze that was previously calm suddenly sharpens dangerously, “He’s mine.” </p><p>It’s an expected response but the room still fills with tension. Nicky catches Joe’s eye briefly and he’s silently asking him to back off. Joe gives a small nod and when he looks back to Quynh and Booker, he tries to smile. It feels stiff and awkward and Booker looks amused for some reason. It all feels so… odd. </p><p>“Quynh,” Booker speaks up after a too long tense silence, “how about this, me and Joe will step outside,” he points to the balcony on clear display through to the glass wall, “you’ll see me. I won’t leave you.”</p><p>“No.” she glares at Joe and he can’t help but take a step back, “He wants to take you away from me.” </p><p>“He won’t.” Booker gently places his hand on her cheek, making her face him, “I won’t let him. You know that.” </p><p>It takes a while but eventually, Quynh lets go of Booker’s wrist and he hugs her quickly before dragging Joe out to the balcony, sliding the door shut behind them. It’s sunny out but Joe still feels cold. </p><p>“I suppose you want some answers.” Booker says casually, leaning on the railing to look out over the city.</p><p>“What happened? How did she-?” Joe trails off, struggling to find the words, “How did you end up with her?”</p><p>Booker sighs and turns to face him properly, “She found me six months into exile. She wanted to find you guys but I didn’t know where you were.” </p><p>“And?” Joe prompts even as the realisation dawns on him; Quynh has had Booker for nearly a full decade, and they had no idea.</p><p>“And she killed me,” Booker shrugs, “quite a few times actually, I kinda lost track. But then she grew tired of it but she didn’t leave. She was scared and so I taught her about the world and we traveled. She became calmer, a little happier.” </p><p>This wasn’t where Joe had thought this would be going and it made him feel a bit unbalanced.</p><p>“She still got angry sometimes,” Booker continued, a smile falling for a moment, “sometimes at Andy, other times it was me or just the world. Most of the time it was with herself though. She can’t always control herself and she gets a bit.. violent.”</p><p>“Why did you stay with her?” he’d understand if it was him, Nicky or Andy, they knew her from before but Booker, he doesn’t have that same connection that they do. </p><p>“Because she needed me.” Booker says it as if it’s simple, and maybe it is, but Joe can’t see it, “Also, I was a pretty good distraction. If she went to find you guys she would have killed Andy. I needed for her to be stable before I let that happen.”</p><p>“But-” Joe bites his lip, not sure how to put all his thoughts into words, “How the fuck did you end up chained to a wall?” </p><p>“Ah… that.” Booker rubs at his neck, “I left to buy groceries without telling her, she freaked out and when I came back she stabbed me. Next time I woke up she had me tied up.” he chuckles as if it’s some kind of joke but stops when he realises Joe isn’t finding this funny, “It was my own fault, I know how scared she is of being alone. She got the collar a few months later, for whenever she went somewhere on her own, so that she could be sure I wouldn’t leave.” </p><p>Joe just stares, not sure what to say, and he feels a bit bad when Booker starts shifting awkwardly on the spot. It doesn’t escape Joe’s notice that he glances inside briefly and it makes him feel a bit sick.</p><p>“Don’t look at me like that,” Booker looks back at Joe and smiles, “I’ve been helping her and she’s getting better. But after all that time alone, her mind isn’t right. It’s not her fault.</p><p>“And what about all this blood?” Joe gestures to Booker’s bloodstained shirt, “That wasn’t her fault either?”  </p><p>“Not really.” Booker shakes his head, an almost fond look in his eyes as he glances inside again.</p><p>“How so?” </p><p>“I suggested we stopped running from you guys.” Booker says simply, “We figured out that Andy had her immortality back so it wouldn’t be a danger for the two to be reunited. She thought I wanted you to rescue me, so,” he gestures to his shirt, “and on with the collar it was.” </p><p>“Booker-”</p><p>“She’s getting antsy.” Booker interrupts and Joe glances inside to see Quynh pressing Nile up against the wall with her hands around her neck, “Time’s up.” </p><p>Joe follows inside and watches with disturbed fascination as Booker talks Quynh down and gently grabs on to her hand to drag her away and into one of the bedrooms, promising that they’ll be back soon. </p><p>He looks to Andy for answers even though he knows she’s just as clueless as the rest of them of what to do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This wasn't intended to be a chaptered fic but inspiration hit and so it'll have a few more short chapters like this ^^<br/>Hope you'll enjoy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Quynh is starting to get better and Booker couldn’t be prouder. It’s been a year, full of ups and downs but Booker can tell that the others have finally joined his side with an optimistic outlook on things. They’d been so hesitant at first, disturbed by Quynh’s madness but Booker always knew they’d come around with time. And he knew they wanted to help her and so he guided them through it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He warned them of what could trigger her anger and her panic and they worked together to make sure she wouldn’t have to deal with it unless she was ready. One such example was Booker leaving for a few hours. It had been three months into being with the rest of them when she finally allowed it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had all been so proud of her even though she had gotten quite upset, she had been able to let Andy help her calm down but when Booker returned she had taken him by the arm and locked them in their room. They had just laid there on the bed for hours and he had felt the way she trembled in her arms. He chose not to mention the anxiety that had encompassed him the whole time he’d been away from her. This was never about him anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One night, Andy had asked Quynh to sleep with her instead of Booker. It wasn’t asked out of jealousy or anything but Booker had thought it was a good idea. He found it quite awkward to always have to sit silently by as the two lovers rekindled their relationship because Quynh couldn’t bear to have him out of his sight. It had taken a few hours of Booker trying to convince her to comply with Andy’s request and the solution in Quynh’s strange mind was to tie his wrists to the headboard and lock him inside the room. They both decided it best if they didn’t mention that part to the others and she let him loose before the others awoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, she was getting better and the others were starting to feel more at ease around her. Joe said he was starting to recognize her again and that he’d missed her, she had started crying then and curled up between him and Nicky while they watched a movie. It had warmed Booker’s heart to see it, just like it warmed his heart whenever he saw Andy and Quynh kiss or hug or just glance at each other with smiles that said it all. But it pained him too and he pushed that feeling down, reminding himself why he had even stuck by Quynh as long as he had. She deserves better. She deserves to have her family back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He, however, does not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where should we go next?” Nile asks as she sets down the final dish and takes a seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to see Norway.” Quynh suggests and she chuckles when the others rush to agree with her, “You guys can make suggestions too, y’know?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve missed so much.” Nicky says sadly, and Booker silently grabs Quynh’s hand under the table when he sees her tense up, “You deserve to decide these things. And we don’t mind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” she says, tone clipped and Booker sends a warning glare to Nicky, he knows not to bring that up, at least not when she’s in a good mood. It can ruin the whole day for her and it gives her nightmares to be reminded of it.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh asks him to shower with her that evening and he agrees. He hums a French lullaby as he massages shampoo into her hair, drowning out the sound of water and his touch reminds her that she’s not alone. She doesn’t seem distressed for even a second and it pleases Booker immensely, this routine they have doesn’t always help unfortunately. But tonight it does and she laughs when he fails to wrap her hair in a towel and she swats at him to do it herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we talk?” that one is new too, her requesting things rather than ordering them of him - not that he’d ever deny her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” he says calmly and lets her drag him to his room, “What’s up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to apologize.” she sits down on his bed and pats the spot next to her, “For what I did to you. I truly am sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Booker smiles, “I know you weren’t yourself. I don’t blame you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” she leans her head on his shoulder, “And thank you for not giving up on me. I couldn’t have done this without you. I really appreciate it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was easy not to give up on you.” she lets out a confused sound and he chuckles, “You’re strong, I knew you’d come out on top.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” her voice is small but hopeful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really.” he assures.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s been nothing more than a crutch to her. She is the one who has had to walk this rough and twisted road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to leave.” Quynh says after a while, “I won’t stop you. I’ll be okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It should make him happy, that she no longer needs his support. And it does, but it also hurts, to know he is no longer of any use. He still has 88 years left of exile and once Quynh tells the others… well, he guesses he’ll have to go no matter if he wants to or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” he says, voice softer - weaker - than intended, “I’m proud of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Booker.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She kisses his cheek and Booker frowns at his wrists when she closes the door behind her, they feel too bare. He wonders if he’ll be able to sleep tonight. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nicky frowns when he sees Booker slumped over the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee in his hands even though it seems to have long since grown cold. He looks exhausted and out of it. Nicky clears his throat and he feels a bit bad about it when it causes the younger to startle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he looks up at him, smiling sheepishly at his reaction, “g’morning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” Nicky turns on the kettle, opting for some tea in the autumn cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chooses not to call him out on the obvious lie and he wonders if Quynh had done something last night when she’d pulled Booker away from them like she so often did. He mentally scolds himself, she’s getting better and she hasn’t been violent in months now. She actually seems like the Quynh he knew from so long ago, if not a bit more timid. He had worried that she was afraid of them but quickly came to realise that she was more scared of herself than anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could understand it, at least somewhat. Being out of control of your own emotions and actions was disorienting and downright terrifying at times. His few interactions with drugs gave him that insight and the memories made him shudder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nile and Joe join them at the table for breakfast a few minutes later and about an hour after that, Andy and Quynh wake up too. They are practically glowing and he tries not to think too long about what caused that, choosing instead to focus on how happy he is to see the two of them together like this again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going out for breakfast.” Quynh announced before bouncing into the bathroom, long and messy hair swinging behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s got her so happy?” Nile chuckles and Andy shrugs with a sly smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s just happy to go on a date.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you say, boss.” Joe scoffs and winks at Nile, who’s mouth falls open as she realises the implication. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A chair scrapes against the floor and Nicky cringes at the sound and looks at Booker, confused at the amount of emotion he sees swimming in his eyes. He opens his mouth to ask him what’s wrong but before he gets the words out, Booker is already gone, his bedroom door slamming shut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” Andy frowns in confusion but schools her expression when Quynh comes strolling out, hair brushed and a light layer of makeup on her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go?” she smiles but it falls ever so slightly when she notices the tense atmosphere. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” Joe cuts in before anyone can say anything, “You two have fun, yeah?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They wait for them to leave, not wanting Quynh to worry about something that could just be nothing. Nicky tries to open the door but finds it locked, he hadn’t even known there were keys to the bedrooms available. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Book?” he calls out, rapping his knuckles against the wood, “You alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just give me a minute.” his voice sounds strained and Nicky glances to Nile and Joe, hoping for some kind of help but they only shrug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be right here when you’re ready.” he really hopes this is the right way to go about whatever this situation is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They settle in front of the television in an uncomfortable silence. Joe gets out his sketchbook but Nicky still catches the way his eyes drift back to the corridor that leads to the bedrooms. Booker has been normal since he got back, but it was disturbing in a way. They’d seen what Quynh had done to him and Joe had filled them in on what Booker told him that first day, it didn’t make sense that he was so… fine? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been such a driving force in them putting Quynh back together and now, looking back at it, Nicky realised he hadn’t really talked about anything but her recovery. And neither had the rest of them. Perhaps he was angry with them, for not really talking to him like they used to.  Nicky supposes they’ll have to put some effort in remedying that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Booker joins them after a few hours, slinks into the armchair closest to the window and stares out of it, he looks more relaxed now fortunately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that earlier?” Nile asks after a while, and Booker grimaces slightly and shifts in his seat to look at them properly, “Why’d you storm off like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just felt a bit overwhelmed,” he admits quietly and quickly adds, “I don’t know why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unsure of what to say to that they turn their attention back to the TV and slowly but surely Nicky feels the usually comfortable atmosphere creep back on them. He smiles whenever he hears Booker laugh and the familiar banter between him and Joe is lovely to listen to. Nile cuts in with a few quips of her own and Nicky is realising her humour is quickly becoming his favourite out of the groups’.  </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Andy and Quynh come back after a few more hours and Nicky enlists the help of Quynh and Nile to cook since they’ve both expressed their desire to learn more recipes. Unfortunately Joe decides he needs to supervise and Nicky is for the thousandth - if not millionth - time reminded why he likes cooking on his own. He may love this man more than words can ever come to express, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn </span>
  </em>
  <span>if he isn’t obnoxious when adding input on how to do things in the kitchen.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shoos him away with the task of setting the table and the women laugh at his annoyance, clearly amused by Joe’s dramatic antics - and Nicky has to admit, he is fond of this part of his lover just as much as he is the rest of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dinner ends up being lovely and Nicky is glad they’re able to reminisce about what they’ve been up to over the last few centuries without Quynh getting angry. Instead, she just seems interested, if a bit sad at times which is understandable but she doesn’t descend into a rage anymore and Booker doesn’t have to step in to calm her down. It’s truly amazing, the progress she’s done over the past year. Nicky wonders and fears what she was like back when she first got out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to thank you.” Quynh says when there’s a lull in the conversation, “You have all helped me so much and I am so happy now. I’m so glad that I get to be back with you with a clear mind.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No need to thank us.” Nicky smiles and reaches across the table to grab her hand, “We’ve missed you so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides,” Nile speaks up, “you did most of the work, you’re crazy strong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say crazy.” Joe mumbles and the room erupts in laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to stick around.” Quynh says seriously once the laughter dies down, “Especially you, Booker.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs his shoulders but refuses to meet any of their eyes, “I only wanted to help you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did good.” Joe claps him on the back and Booker looks up and smiles even though his eyes look slightly teary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A job well done, truly.” Andy says and wraps her arm around Quynh’s shoulder and she chuckles when she snuggles her face into her shoulder, “Thank you Booker.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told him yesterday,” Quynh straightens up, “that if he wants to leave, I won’t stop him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.” a smile stretches across Nicky’s face and he can see the proudness he’s feeling reflected in everyone else’s eyes too, “That’s amazing Quynh, you really have come so far.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Booker suddenly gets to his feet and he rounds the table to press a quick kiss to Quynh’s cheek before excusing himself to go to bed. Nicky saw the tears in his eyes though and he rolls his eyes, the man is still so stuck in hiding his emotions even though they’re completely understandable. Of course he’d get a bit emotional over Quynh’s progress, there’s no shame in it. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nile wakes up to the feeling that something is wrong. She slings her legs over the edge of the bed and shivers when bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor. The apartment is silent, the sun has yet to rise and Nile tries to keep quiet as she makes her way down the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She cracks Nicky and Joe's door open first and smiles at the sight of them curled up together. Nicky’s eyes flutter open and he makes to get up when he sees her but she shakes her head and gestures for him to stay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next door leads to Andy and Quynh’s room and when Nile opens it they both instantly reach for their weapons, despite how blary from sleep they look. They chuckle lowly when they realise there’s no danger and Nile tells them to go back to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pads further down the hallway and feels her heart drop when she finds Booker’s room empty. She takes a stumbled step inside and takes stock of how his things are missing, the only trace of him is the bunched up bedsheets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys?” She calls out shakily and soon enough four sets of footsteps are heard coming towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wron-'' Joe cuts himself off, eyes searching the small room almost desperately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s gone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nicky pushes his way inside, pulls the closet door open before turning to the bed. Nile watches in confusion as he grabs the bed cover and waved it and turned it around. It was only when the man got on his hands and knees by the bed that she found her voice again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wouldn’t leave without saying anything,” Nicky snaps as he gets to his feet again, going to search the drawers in the bedside table, “he would have left a note or some-” he stops when he pulls out the second drawer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Joe takes a step towards him but freezes when Nicky turns to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He holds out a rope, “What the fuck is this?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a heartstopping moment Nile thinks it might have been something Booker has used to hurt himself - she’s heard plenty of stories of Booker’s attempts and their first encounter had already told her enough about his mental state for her to worry about him. But she realises the ropes Nicky’s holding are much too thin for them to even begin to hold his weight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh?” Nile turns her head when she hears Andy speak and she frowns at how small the Viatnemese woman suddenly looks, “Do you know something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had to.” she whispers, voice thick with emotion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Andy prompts and reaches to touch her shoulder but Quynh flinches back, shaking her head as a tear slips down her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I needed to know he wouldn’t leave.” Quynh admits, face scrunching up as more tears slip out, “When I couldn’t sleep here, with him, I just needed to be sure. I had to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room suddenly feels icy cold as silence fills the space and Nile feels sick to her stomach, “You tied him up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh nods, a sound between a groan and a whine escaping her lips before she speaks, “I had to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fucking shit.” Nicky curses and Nile hears the thump of the ropes hitting the floor before he shoulders his way past her, Joe quickly following. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want him to leave.” Quynh sobs, arms curling around her middle as if she’s holding herself together, “And now I told him he could,” she falls to her knees, Andy barely having the time to dampen her fall, but she still manages and pulls her lover into her arms, “and he did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nile presses the balls of her palms into her eyes, trying to piece all this together. The idea of Booker tied up to his bed each night while the rest of them were sleeping soundly is disturbing in and of itself, but the fact that he kept it from them is even more so. Did he think they wouldn’t care? Was he scared that Quynh would hurt him if he did? Has she? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nile lets her arms fall numbly to her sides. She can’t bring herself to be angry with Quynh, not when she’s curled up on the ground sobbing and muttering things in languages Nile doesn’t even recognize. She sighs deeply and walks past the two women on the floor and sees Nicky and Joe’s door slightly ajar, a wordless invitation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t reach him.” Joe says when she steps inside, “His number is out of service.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He probably needs some time.” Nile mutters as she sits down and the words feel bitter on her tongue, “He’ll come back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has to.” Nicky whispers, phone clutched in his hand so tightly, Nile thinks he might break it, “He has to.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She can’t bring herself to look at them. She doesn’t want to see their looks of disgust and horror. And most of all, she doesn’t want to see the pity in their eyes. She doesn’t deserve it. Not after all she’s done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s so much blood on her hands, Booker’s blood. She’s long since lost count of the amount of times she killed him and hurt him in horrifying ways. Never once did he get angry with her though, he never blamed her and it had helped her because he was the only one that could come close to understanding her pain. But she realises now, that he’d just hid it. He must have hated her for so long and she doesn’t have the right to be hurt by it, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>it still hurts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh.” Andromache sits at the edge of the bed, one hand resting on her ankle, thumb rubbing comforting circles on her skin, comfort she doesn’t deserve. “You have to eat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I starved him.” her voice is raspy, “He died seven times before I gave him some moldy bread to eat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andromache sucks in a sharp breath but she doesn’t leave. Quynh doesn’t understand why they won’t. They should punish her for what she’s done but they won’t. It makes her feel sick to her stomach and she wants to shove it in their faces. She wants to scream about all the things she’s done until they finally get it. She doesn’t deserve their comfort or their love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll come back.” Andromache says softly, “He just needs some time. He’ll be back with you soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He won’t.” the tears that spring to her eyes make her angry, she shouldn’t be crying over this, “He hates me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t.” Andromache sounds so sure of herself, “Quynh. He doesn’t. I saw the way he looked at you, he loves you so much. He wanted you to get better, he wouldn’t have helped you like he did if he didn’t love you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why would he leave?” she sounds like a child.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eleven years, he spent by your side-” Andromache starts and lays down behind her, pulling Quynh in tight, “He just needs some time to be his own person again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But he’s mine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh squeezes her eyes shut, hating the voice that caused all of this. She’s hated it since it first started screaming in her ears but back then she hadn’t been able to shut it out. She had needed something to have control over and Booker had been right there, had offered himself up without protest and she had loved him for it. It was sick and twisted but with time, the love became less so, it became more real and she had thought it was mutual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andromache eventually gets her out of bed and Quynh refuses to look at any of the others as she picks at the food in front of her. The sun is going down outside and the others are getting ready for bed but Andromache stays. Usually it would have been Booker by her side, a silent reassurance that she wasn’t alone and for a moment Quynh hates Andromache for being the replacement. But the feeling doesn’t remain, she loves Andromache, always has and always will. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh.” Nile says softly and places her phone next to her plate gently, “You keep getting notifications.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She numbly picks up the device, unlocking it quickly and she feels her heart drop when the display lights up. This can’t be right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Andromache asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The cottage.” the words feel heavy as they spill out, “It’s the alarm at the cottage. Someone’s there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They take the next flight to France and the tension between them all is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Yusuf’s knuckles on the steering wheel are white as he drives them towards the place they were reunited in. Quynh can’t decide if she wants the alarms to have gone off because of some malfunction or that it’ll have been Booker that set them off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wants to see him, desperately so, but she can’t for the life of her figure out why he’d have gone here. Perhaps he needed some kind of closure, maybe they’ll find it burnt down by the time they get there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They don’t, and Quynh feels her heart race as they make their way up the pebbled driveway. The front door is stood ajar and Andromache pushes it open, gun drawn in case there’s a threat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Booker?” Nile calls out tentatively as they spread out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh is barely aware she’s moving until she pushes the door open and she can’t stop the gasp she lets out when she does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s Booker, curled up on the floor, a small pool of blood surrounding him but that isn’t what stands out the most. He has the metal collar clutched to his chest like a child would hold a teddy bear as they sleep. She rushes forward and he doesn’t stir until she lays a hand on his cheek. His face is puffy and his eyes are red when he blinks them open, as if he’s been crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Booker?” her voice trembles, “What are you- what are you doing here?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh?” he groans as he sits up, eyes wide as he looks at her, “You’re here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” her eyes keep flicking down to the collar he’s still holding onto, “What are you doing here?” she asks again.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” he sounds just as confused as she feels, “I just I needed-” he trails off, looking over her shoulder and she follows his gaze, shame once again flooding her veins at the sad way the others are looking at them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Needed what?” she turns back to Booker, trying to focus on what’s important.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To remember.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sleeves of his shirt are red and Quynh feels her eyes water. How could he be wanting to remember all the pain she put him through?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you need to remember?” it’s Nile that asks and Quynh is thankful, she can’t find her own words.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Booker takes a shuddering breath, “That I was wanted.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Was’, past tense. It all falls into place, just like that. How badly they’ve misread the situation. How downright idiotic they’ve all been. Quynh knew Booker wasn’t right in the head even before she first met him, she knew how little he thought of himself. Of course he would have clung onto the one thing that gave him some kind of purpose even if that was her, the one who hurt him in unimaginable ways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are.” she says with determination, needing him to believe her, “You are wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told me to leave.” Booker shakes his head, clutching the collar even tighter to his body, Quynh worries it hurts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you wanted to.” she whispers, cupping his face with her hands, “I didn’t want you to feel trapped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” his eyes close as he leans into her touch, a single tear slipping down his face, “I served my purpose so I thought you wanted me to leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could I ever want that?” she smiles when he opens his eyes again but she’s not sure if it’s particularly comforting given the tears that are freely running down her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Easily.” he says numbly, eyes falling behind her and Quynh feels her blood boil.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you tell him to leave?” she yells, twisting around to glare at the others, ignoring the way they startle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Of course not” Nicolo shakes his head and the horrified look on his face makes Quynh calm down. She can always tell when they’re lying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Booker whimpers behind her and she turns back to face him and she feels her heart break all over again. He’s pulled his legs up to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Booker?” she says softly, placing her hands on his face again, “I’m sorry for yelling.” he shakes his head, eyes still squeezed shut, “Please look at me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And of course, he does and it makes her feel sick again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do?” she asks and he tries to look over her shoulder again but she leans to her side to block his view, she needs to know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>wants, “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be yours again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t be so satisfying to hear him say it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll always be mine.” she wipes his tears with her thumbs and he smiles at her, “Always.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Props to LectorEl for predicting this lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am super sorry for the long wait for this update but to be honest I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore lol<br/>I hope this is somewhat good at least and if you have any suggestions/requests/ideas of what you want to see in this fic feel free to tell me in the comments or on tumblr <br/>love yall <br/>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Booker didn’t want to leave. He didn’t move until Quynh told him to get up and Joe had to look away, feeling nauseous at the way Booker wouldn’t stop clutching onto the collar. It was disturbing in a way Joe has not connected to over the past year. Everything had moved too quickly for him to realise how truly fucked up all of this was. That wasn’t to say he’d been okay with it before but now, it was different. The haze that had obscured his vision was clearing and he didn’t like what he was seeing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They go to the same appartment as last time and it feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Quynh leads Booker into the bathroom and Joe almost wants to stop her, almost wants to tear her away from him so she can’t ruin him any further. He’s disgusted by his own thoughts but the way Booker looked so lost in the brief second she had let go of his arm to get out of the car made him even more so. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s silent in the comon area but no one dares to say anything. None of them know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say, even after all they’ve been through, after all they’ve seen, they’re completely out of their depth here. Joe briefly wonders if they would have been able to help Quynh if Booker hadn’t hidden this from them. He wonders if they would have wanted to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joe is pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a soft singing voice and the corners of his eyes prickle when he recognises it as the French lullaby Booker would sing to Quynh when they showered together. The roles were reversed now. And somehow, despite everything, that comes as a relief.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Booker was able to help Quynh when her madness was too much and now that it had simmered down and she was back in control, then maybe she’d be able to help him. She didn’t seem happier about this development than the rest of them, surely she’ll want to see Booker be okay again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They can hear the shower turn off but the singing continues and Nicky springs to action. He grabs some clothes out of one of the bags and knocks gently on the bathroom door, it takes a few minutes for it to open and Quynh sticks her head out quickly, smiling sadly as she accepts the clothes. Booker doesn’t look up from the floor when they finally step out, a cloud of steam following them, and Quynh mouths ‘not now’ when Andy steps forward to take control of the situation. She accepts the request and Booker lets Quynh pull him into one of the bedrooms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We uh-” Andy whispers, “We’ll deal with this tomorrow. Get some rest.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And with that she slinks down the hallway into one of the vacant rooms with Nile tight on her heels, at least it’s some relief that no one will be sleeping alone tonight. Nicky grabs some more clothes and goes to change in the bathroom. Joe considers going with him but opts to get some fresh air. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Only, he doesn’t even get to the sliding doors before he hears the sound of retching coming from behind him and he practically sprints to the bathroom. He pulls the door open and realises imedietly what’s happened. He kneels beside his lover, rubbing his back as he vomits into the toilet, trying desperatly to ignore Booker's dirty and bloodied clothes piled up in the corner. The floor of the shower is still wet and Joe wishes he hadn’t noticed the dried bits of blood and scabs floating in the thin layer of water.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had almost forgotten what Booker had done to himself. How he had hurt himself so badly in an attempt to remember that he was wanted. How he had needed to bring the fucking collar as evidence that he was still considered Quynh’s. How fucking naive was it of Joe to think this was something Quynh could fix? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was the cause of this. Intentionally or not. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The chain feels heavy in Quynh’s hand. It can’t weigh more than a few grams yet her hand shakes with the effort of carrying it. Realistically she knows that’s not what’s making her tremble though. She lets out a heaving breath and opens the front door, already on edge, worrying about what she will be returning too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time she had left Booker’s side in two weeks and she felt like it was far too soon. Joe had been insistant though, telling her that he needed to get used to it like she had to get used to it before. Quynh had been running her fingers through Booker’s hair as he had slumbered with his head in her lap and it had taken all her self control not to raise her voice. For a brief moment she had wanted to hurt Joe for trying to take Booker from her but she realised quite quickly that </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was precisely the reason she had to go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The apartment is silent as she enters and it feels disturbing. Even though the past weeks haven’t been the most lively, there was always some kind of noise. The TV would be on or Nile would be playing music through the speakers and if the modern electronics weren’t on then you would at least hear carchoal running over paper or hushed conversations from the separate rooms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m back.” she calls out softly, a lump forming in her throat as she slowly walks inside, “Guys?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The living room is empty, as is the kitchen and Quynh feels her heart sink. Was this all a trick? Did they tell her to leave so that they could escape with Booker? A flood of rage rushes through her but it shifts into nothing but a small stream as guilt takes over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It makes sense after all. She had seen the disgust in the others’ eyes whenever they thought she wasn’t looking. She had ruined Sebastien, the one she knew Joe and Nicky saw as their little brother, the one Andy turned to when she needed someone to listen without judging, the one Nile looked at with something that could only be described as familial fondness. They had helped her, and so maybe it was best if they helped him without her touch that tainted and fractured everything around her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh?” Nile’s soft voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she spun around, relief flooding her when she saw the young woman walking towards her, for once able to ignore how tentative she looked, “Why are you crying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha-” she frowned, raising her hand to her cheek, and sure enough it was wet, “I thought you’d left.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Quynh-” Nile sighed, sounding genuinly upset and it felt so utterly undeserved when she wrapped her arms around her to pull her close, “We won’t leave you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh slowly returned the hug, holding on tighter than she should but she just had to be sure, “Where-” she choked on the words, burying her face in the crook of the younger woman’s neck, “Where are the others?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re with Booker.” Nile whispered, rubbing soothing circles on her back, “In your room.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She felt ridiculous and reluctantly pulled away from the embrace, “Did it- did it go well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really.” Nile shook her head sadly, “He freaked out as soon as you left and we tried to get him to calm down but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t work.” Quynh finished, clutching the chain in her hand a bit tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He passed out and each time he woke up, it was the same thing over and over again.” Nile looked away and heaved another sigh, “Nothing we said would get through to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You told us it was too soon.” Nile shook her head again, “We should’ve listened.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh opened her mouth to reasure the younger, to tell her that they couldn’t have known how Booker would have reacted and that trial and error was the only way to figure it out, but was interupted by the sound of muffled shouting. Nile grabbed hold of Quynh’s arm and pulled her down the hallway and she felt her heart break as she heard Andy beg for someone to calm down over the sound of sobs and gasped breaths. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quynh ripped her arm out of Nile’s grasp and rushed forward, pushing the door open roughly and nearly cried at the sight she was greeted by. Nicky was kneeled by the bed, obviously at a loss of what to do. Joe was sitting behind Booker, arms wrapped around his chest to hold him still as Andy was kneeled on the bed in front of him, hands on his cheeks to get him to look at her as she spoke but Booker wasn’t listening. His head was trashing and he was bucking against Joe’s hold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She left.” he gasped out a broken raw sound “She- she doesn’t wa- want me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here.” Quynh tried to say but her voice failed her, coming out barely above a whisper, she stumbled forward and swallowed around the lump in her throat, “I’m here.” she said, louder this time and Booker stilled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up at her, eyes glassy with tears, face puffy and red and his expression was one of disbelief. It broke her heart. By this point she wasn’t sure if it could ever heal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quynh.” he sobbed, trying to move towards her but he was still restrained by Joe’s arms, “Quynh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here.” she said again and climbed into the bed when Andy got out of the way, “I’m right here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joe seemed hesitant but he loosened his hold and gently manouvered out of the bed. Booker looked seconds away from lurching forward to grasp onto her but, like always, he didn’t. He still believed he needed her permission. She settled over his legs and pulled him close, his head resting against her chest as he tried to get his breathing back under control.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t leave you.” she assured him, rocking them sligtly side to side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” he whispered after a while, holding onto her tighter, “I’m sorry.” </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have nothing to apologise for.” Quynh pushed him away enough so that she could look him in the eyes, “I won’t leave for so long again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How-” his eyes seemed a bit clearer now and Quynh was concerned that the flush on his cheeks was from embarresment now, “How long?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two hours.” Quynh whispered and Booker squeezed his eyes shut, mouth opening to speak but Quynh interupted him, “I got you something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes hesitantly, “You did?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The others want us to get rid of the collar.” she whispered conspiratorially even though she knew the others could clearly hear her, she smiled when Booker frowned in confusion, “So I got you this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She uncurled her fist in front of him and held up the silver necklace, an orange pendant the size of an acorn resting in her palm. It was the same color as the tulips Booker had taken her to see when visiting the Neatherlands. She had told him it was her favourite color and ever since he would gift her things in that exact shade. He would surely understand it’s meaning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For me?” he carefully ran his fingertip over the smooth rock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For you.” she nodded and carefully undid the clasp, “Can I put it on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded and bared his neck, sighing in something akin to satisfaction when she clasped it behind his neck, hand instantly coming up to trail along the chain as a small smile tugged at his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” he whispered and wrapped his arms around her waist again, holding her tight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She held onto him just as tightly. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please let me know what you think! </p><p>This is a request fill from an ask on Tumblr, come talk to me over there pls:<br/><a href="https://ebbatriestowrite.tumblr.com/">EbbaTriesToWrite</a><br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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